The Extra Special Souls

Right at this moment, there are two large projects I should be focusing on. I  need to do a module for Biology and a small paper for Nature and Society. Instead, I'm going to write about a few critters who have made a huge impact on my life. Why? Because I need a break from reality. Ha!

Okay, well shall we get started?

Heart animals don't come with every pet. I don't know why, but I find this hard to deal with. I feel like all animals that are in my life hold a special part, but these animals consume so much more. You become attached at the hip. They are like the long lost best friend who you always dreamed of but never thought you would find. Occasionally it is instant, but I think many times it grows through challenge and hard work.

Romeo was my heart horse. He was my go-to best friend, the best listener and a complete and utter jackass horse. I swear he lived to make me miserable. But he was cute! See?

I learned tons from this boy. He came into my life after a run with horses who just didn't fit what I needed. And frankly, he wasn't what I needed either. He was a somewhat wild, cattle bred gelding who was easily bored and enjoyed causing trouble. He loved the ladies and only had about 6 months under saddle when we brought him home from rural Ohio. We had a nice run, even with all the struggles. He was my best boy and I regret everyday that I let him go. In addition, this horse led me to further knowledge in responsible riding technique (which is still quite far off and coming along slowly), ownership, horse behavior, structure, and body maintenance. He was my heart and soul and someday I will find a way to honor everything he brought to the table with a piece of ink on my body.

I highly doubt it will come as a surprise to learn that Tulsa is my heart dog. Opposite of Romeo, I knew very quickly that she was the one. Like, basically as soon as she came home. 

Because how could I not? I researched and researched and researched. I have a few dogs that were acquired in an attempt to fill her hole, afraid that I couldn't handle what she would bring to the table. Part of my fear was the fact that no reputable dogs were available to discover the breed and the other part was the battle of ACD vs Border Collie. I have no regrets in bringing Harlow or Rider into our life. They are both spectacular dogs and both have left their own little imprint on my soul. I don't understand it, but it doesn't surprise me... Tulsa came into our lives just as she takes on everything else in the world. Like a Freakin' Fireball Shot. She's a little red hurricane full of SUNSHINE! And I love her for all of it. This dog is spectacular. I could gush and gush for hours, but everybody would think (or maybe they already know?) that I'm nuts. Actually, I'm pretty sure that if you follow us on Facebook that you already hear about it.

I wasn't kidding, I'm not going to go on and on about how amazing she is because this blog post couldn't take that many words. Frankly, I love her to death and even though she's only been in our life for about four months, I can't imagine it without her. I can't wait to see what we accomplish. 

Part of the reason I'm writing this post is to approach the guilt I feel because of my immense love for redpuppy. Aforementioned, she's been in our life for four months. Harlow has been here four years. Rider for two. I love them both for obvious reasons and they are amazing dogs. Now, before you get too concerned, Harlow isn't missing out on holding the title of "Best Girl" in the eyes of a human. Josh loves that dog so much it's difficult to watch sometimes, and frankly that dog adores him more than she adores making my life miserable (which is a lot). Rider is the sweetest and cuddliest boy ever. Both Josh and I adore him as well. I just don't click with him quite the same as I do with the baby squid. I feel guilty for this. I feel guilty that they don't all hold the word heart in their description. I feel weird that I don't want every one of them memorialized forever on myself. I don't think it is abnormal, but the guilt is still there. And I think it always will be for those who don't have that level of connection.

As usual, it's late and my thoughts are probably all running together at this point. For that I apologize. I guess that'll do for tonight.

The Learning Curve

I've been mulling over this blog post for a while now. Mainly because I don't know exactly where it is going. I guess we will just run with it.

Shall we begin with marriage?

I think we shall.

Josh and I married on December 7, 2011. Both at the age of 19. It was a decision that was supported by some, and not by others.

2011 was a super shitty year for me. Super shitty. Things just kind of kept going downhill as the year went on. I think it was early October when Josh called me with an issue of us getting taken advantage of and I said we should just move out of the state. I'd always wanted to go, so why not then? I needed a break from the drama that was in my life at that time. It just snowballed from there. An amazing family offered us a great opportunity and we jumped on it. I'm not quite sure how the subject came about (though I'm pretty sure I brought it up), but we decided to get married. I'm making the choice not to delve into much detail surrounding the following months as it was kind of rough and I don't want to rehash things that are in the past. Obviously you know the end of that aspect of the story. We got married about a month later we packed a U-Haul and were on our way.

After the first month, the next five were spent living with the amazing family aforementioned. I wasn't working and Josh was building houses about an hour away. We trucked along until our move to Fort Collins where we lived in our pop-up trailer for a few months. We made our move back to Michigan in September, if I recall.

Josh and I celebrated our first year anniversary in our rental back in SW Michigan. We resided there for the next year.

Kudos to you if you've made it this far! Sorry if it was pretty boring. It was in this rental where I came to a realization: Marriage is nothing like what you think it will be like. It's awesome and difficult all at the same time. It's amazing to be matched with a person who knows the good and the bad and still loves you. It's can also be extremely frustrating. It's all about sacrifices and keeping in check with what is best not for yourself, but for both of you as a couple. Sometimes you feel so in love you can't even imagine it is real. Other times you feel isolated and as you can't make a connection.

You grow. And sometimes you don't grow together. When you get married shortly out of high school and before you experience much, I guess I didn't realize that you don't really know who you are. I didn't know I was a rambler. I didn't realize that I haven't found where I want my roots. I have a love for the Rocky Mountains. I do. I would love to return. Many conversations have been had and I know Josh doesn't have that love. Josh's world revolves around his family. He loves so much about SW Michigan. I think it's okay, and I'm not displeased to be here, but I'm always wondering what it would be like to live in the south, or in a different part of the West. When I decided to take the plunge and return to school, I debated going out of state. I'm glad I didn't, because Josh and I would not flourish with a long distance relationship. Sacrifices. We found a compromise that could let me work here, or elsewhere in the country. Josh is making sacrifices by working the job he does and waiting to move forward on his dreams until I graduate.

I look back at how much I've changed and matured, even in the past 2.5 years. Josh has grown up so much as well. Thing is, no matter how young or old you are, you never stop growing and maturing. A close friend of mine unfortunately just went through a tough break up and it came up at an agility class. A gal that is in her 50's gladly piped in to say she was "happily divorced" and that "you are so young. you will find out one day that normally you just want to be with the dogs and that being alone isn't bad". I don't know why, but that kind of offended me. Yes, I am young. Hi! Meet Meagan, the 22 year old. Maybe I grew up fast or maybe I just think I'm more mature than most people my age, but though I was young when we made our decisions, I don't have any regrets. I think that there is probably a 90 year old who looks at that 50 year old gal and wonders just how much growing she has to do. I look forward to seeing how much we mature together in the next 2.5 years, and again in the next 10 years and so on.

I warned you that I wasn't quite sure where this was going. It's not very well written, possibly because it is 12:30am. However, it has been jumbling around in my head for too long now and it was time to kick it out.

We are at a pretty neat place in our lives right now. We still have our struggles, but we bought a house and are working on building a solid life for ourselves. We plan to do some remodeling and then eventually we will begin to work on finding our farm. I'm pretty stoked to see how it all comes together.

Expectations. They are never met, but sometimes that's because it is better than you expect. That'll do for now.

Rocky Mountain Tribute

Saturday I'm headed to my favorite tattoo shop to get a price quote for my Rocky Mountain tribute tattoo. I'm super excited. This reminded me all about the reasons I miss the West and the fact that I've had several people ask me about our experiences out west since our move back two years ago. This post is all about the decision we made to move back East.

We lived in Erie, CO for a short time and then Fort Collins, CO for the rest of our stay. We were in Colorado a total of 9 months.

Let's first begin with what I loved:

1) Open spaces. No stupid trees where you get lost and have to worry about loosing dogs. Rarely seeing people. Riding for miles and miles. 

2) There was tons of character in the mountains. You could meet some really neat people and find some really neat shops.

3) Sage is amazing.

4) Weather. Sun!! 360 days a year. Pffft. Uncalled for in MI. Mild winters in the foothills.

5) Rocky Mountains. Amazing and breathtaking every single time.

6) Awesome career opportunities in science and controlled grazing/rangeland management.

7) The drives were amazing. Things never looked the same. 

8) Camping was amazing. It actually felt real and lovely and no other souls around.

9) Cattle ranches. Real ranches and cowboys. 

10) The rodeos. <3

11) Lots of good memories of vacations out there. I've always felt that is where I belong. 

12) Fort Collins was a really cool town. Super close to the mountains.

13) Eagles Nest. Favorite Open Space ever.

Anddddd what brought us back:

1) Water rights. They are weird and confusing. They would send a lot of water further west to Nevada and you had to pay for it. Expensive. Also, much of the water depended on how much snow the mountains got. Weird.

2) Lack of water. There were rivers... that was about it.

3) High living expenses. Outrageous. We lived in a popup for a short time because a studio apartment was close to $1000/month. The mountains (where we really wanted to be) are 10x worse.

4) Rattlesnakes are scary.

5) Wildfires. They are real and scary and something Michigan never worries about.

6) Family was an enormous part. People getting older that we wanted to be around to see.

7) Josh really missed hunting and fishing. 

8) The people. Oh so many people. Though after coming back, we realized the population here in MI is much larger than we remembered.

I think that's about it. I wish that we would have tried a few different areas of the West before we moved back (potentially) for good. I feel like further north would have suited us better. I forever thank the move for the things it taught us and the experiences and memories made there. Things happen for a reason, though, and as much as I miss it  for now we are settling here. I will leave it at that as my next post plays off that a bit.

That'll do for now.

Ripping off the Band-Aid

Well, it appears I have decided to jump into the world of blogging. The layout of my blog isn't exactly what I wanted, but I guess it will have to do.

I basically summed up what this blog will include in the "About Me" portion. But mainly dogs. Because reasons.

I'm going to kick this baby off with gushing about miss Tulsa. This puppy, guys. She's amazing. Lives to work with me and is always game for anything. Such a freaking happy girl. I just... can't even handle it. I love her more than I ever thought possible already. Her heelwork is coming along so nice. I think we are going to have a lot of fun in the obedience ring. I tried to get a video of her progress earlier and totally didn't switch my phone to video mode. So smooth. Hopefully tomorrow!

I will keep this short and sweet. Thanks for reading.

That'll do for now.